Life Lessons

As Annabelle's due date approaches I have noticed my emotions rising up to the surface a bit more often. I have been aware this would probably occur and so have not been completely shocked by their arrival. I do however wish they would stay away.

My grief is not gone by any means and it will live with me permanently. I find that most days are good days and the sadness and accompanying thoughts are minute. However, in the past 7 days I have had two very sad, and as I call them, 'off' days. These are the days where any little thing can set me off or start the flow of tears. It doesn't have to be anything sad or baby / pregnancy related either. Yesterday it was if I should buy my child a $10 toy and the week before it was a good friend not being able to catch up with me. Go figure.

To try and keep things in perspective I have a quote that sits firmly implanted in my mind that I like to recite often.

"If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back."

This is from Regina Brett's Life Lessons. I first came across it about a year ago when a co-worker placed it in the staff toilets of all places. This is only one of the fifty mantras she has written down and all of them have helped me in one way or another. I find reading them very calming and uplifting and thought I would share them here with you.

This particular mantra rings true with me and it helps me remember that everything is not as bad as it seems. Yes, losing my child was devastating and maybe I would trade that over something else, but then NO I wouldn't. I wouldn't trade it as that would mean losing Annabelle completely. She is my daughter and she is continuing to teach me things and bless my life in ways I never imagined. If I swapped my loss for something else, it wouldn't really fix anything. Sure, I wouldn't have the loss but what would I have? Without the loss I don't have Annabelle. I don't have this blog and I haven't gotten to meet all of the wonderful and amazing people I have come in contact with in the last ten weeks.

As much as I wish this wouldn't have happened, it did and in some ways I feel blessed. My circle of friends has now increased and I have learned the true value of life amongst many other things. These are gifts Annabelle has given me; I will not trade them.

Please feel free to share your favourite mantra from the list. I would love to know if any make an impact in your life as they have in mine.