A Virus

Virus

noun

'an infective agent that typically consists of a nucleic acid molecule in a protein coat, is too small to be seen by light microscopy, and is able to multiply only within the living cells of a host.'

We come into contact with viruses every day of our lives. Most of the time they don't do too much. On occasion you get a whopper and you are stuck on your lounge with a nose that seems to be running a marathon and a body that feels as if you have been hitting the gym hard when in reality the only exercise you have done is lifting the TV remote. Viruses have also been know to cause the much debilitating MAN FLU.

As much as a virus is a pain we all recover normally within 7 – 10 days and go upon our lives.

A week ago the word virus entered my life again and this time its impact has lasting effects. We found out from the Doctors that Annabelle's little life was lost due to a virus. Unfortunately a virus attacked my placenta and that was that. When the placenta is compromised and cannot function then it cannot transfer nutrients to the baby.

I learned there are a few common viruses that can cause this sort of acute attack, however it wasn't one of those that invaded my body. No, of course not. My body had to come in contact with some obscure virus that for whatever reason my placenta couldn't fight. Lucky me.

Actually in some ways I am lucky. I am lucky that we received an answer. I am lucky because the odds of this happening again are extremely tiny. I am lucky because my little girl didn't suffer. I am lucky because I have an amazing medical team who have been with me every step of the way and have promised me that they will do everything in their power to ensure that I get to go home with my next baby. I am lucky because I am Annabelle's Mum.

With all this luck you would think then that I would be happy to have the answer and the closure that it brings with it. In some respects I am. It is probably one of the best outcomes we could have asked for. However, it doesn't make it any better. The one question that I really want answered is 'Why?' and I will never have that. That is the hardest part for me.

I miss Annabelle every moment of every day and I wish things could be different, but this is now my reality. Unfortunately I can't go back in time and change things as much as I want to. For me I just have to continue to go forward. It is not always easy to keep moving but unfortunately it is a fundamental part of life.

I want to continue to live for my children and my husband and I want to move forward as I want Annabelle to have a little brother or sister. So for now I will put one foot in front of the other and march on. I will continue to share my story in hope that I am helping and making a difference. I will continue to dislike viruses and do my best to not let them invade our lives; certainly never again to this magnitude.