The Tooth Fairy

When my eldest lost his first tooth recently I had two thoughts. My first was that we had worked so hard to get these teeth in the first place and now they were going to start falling out! My second thought was for Annabelle. I wouldn't get to know what sort of teether she would be.  Difficult like her biggest bro or really easy?  There would be no tooth fairy visits for her. Crap. Sad thought number 7034 has penetrated my brain and made its way into my conscious.

Yes, this is my normal now. Fun and exciting times always seem to be penetrated by a sad thought or something missing. It makes sense as someone is and forever will be missing from our family.

Before I go any further I am happy to report that sad thought 7034 did not stay long. No sad thoughts 7035, 7036 and 7037 came along but much much later. I was able to enjoy all of my son's exitement in losing his first tooth. The tooth fairly brought $2 which was a HUGE deal. Unfortuantely to Tanner's dismay, $2 is not enough to buy a toy but he is determined to save. With a mouth full of teeth I am sure a toy wont be far off.

The loss of the tooth was a massive reminder that life is continuing. Life does go on. It isn't pleasant to realise and of course it can make you angry that it hasn't stopped, not even for a second, to mark the loss of your child. But life can't stop it has to go on and that is what the tooth fairy taught me this past week.

As I write this two teeth have now been lost and two big shiny white ones are on their way to the surface. Nothing is slowing down, if anything it is going faster. My boys will be 6 and 3 in less than six months. Far out! In the weeks to come there will be parties to arrange, birthday cakes to bake and more teeth to fall out. Amongst all this life and change I will continue to grieve and Annabelle will forever remain a baby.

The tooth fairy didn't just come for Tanner this past week she came to remind me that life is going to continue and things are going to change and progress just as they are supposed to. Unfortunately Annabelle wont be part of that change as I had hoped and expected but she will always be here.